Newsletter # 17

 

To begin with, I want to apologize for the last newsletter. Something I did or didn't do, didn't work and I apologize. Someday I will learn to use the computer efficiently. The other big no-no was sending the attachment that was too large. I will from now on make sure all attachments are very small or will advise that if you want it to please write and then I will forward to you. This newsletter doesn't contain any attachments; and hopefully, it will read better. Thanks for letting me know so I can get it corrected.

MsBoots

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Quizzes are always fun. Wonder if I even rate? Enjoy!


Hi everyone :-)

It's about time we found out who is the Phoenix trivia champion, so I've compiled a little quiz to test the grey matter. It's only for fun and the intention is not to see who is the best at using search engines!!

I'll leave it open for a few weeks and remind everyone of a closing date nearer the time. Mail your answers to Wizzer at quiz@dogstars.globalnet.co.uk
and not to Ms.Boots as she has enough to do as it is getting the newsletter out.

Have fun and see y'all soon

Wizzer
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The Questions :

1.....Which band had a hit song in 1996 with "Breakfast at Tiffanys"?

2.....Which actor supplied the voice for Darth Vader in the Star Wars films?

3.....In which country is the Volta river?

4.....Who wrote the books: "Congo", "Jurassic Park" and "Disclosure"?

5.....In Greek mythology, who was the first mortal woman?

6.....Who wrote the book "101 Dalmatians"?

7.....How many letters are there in the Russian alphabet?

8.....Which of the 7 dwarfs comes first, alphabetically?

9.....Which country tested it’s 1st nuclear bomb in 1974?

10...What was Henry Fonda’s last film?

11...Who was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxin better known as?

12...What is the largest island in the West Indies?

13...For what is H.I.V. an abbreviation?

14...George Eastman founded which company in 1892?

15...Which TV series lasted for 8 years longer than the war it was about?

16...Which country is known as "The Land of the White Elephant"?

17...Which golfer is known as the Great White Shark?

18...Who was the only artist to appear at both the London & Philadelphia venues of the 1984 Live Aid concerts?

19...In what year did the Titanic sink?

20...What colour is a black box flight recorder?

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Here ya go, part 3 of the 'How to create your own webpage'...getting a little more challenging now. hehe

Still happy to help with any feedback & suggestions.

NOTE * Slippy's How To's are now posted on the phoenix site. Click Here to go to the Tutorials area.

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If you don't need Kleenex after this.....

Thanks Chelsea!

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She was six years old when I first met her on the beach near where I live.

I drive to this beach, a distance of three or four miles, whenever the
world begins to close in on me. She was building a sandcastle or something and
looked up, her eyes as blue as the sea.

"Hello," she said.
I answered with a nod, not really in the mood to bother with a small child.
"I’m building," she said.
"I see that. What is it?" I asked, not caring.
"Oh, I don’t know, I just like the feel of sand."

That sounds good, I thought, and slipped off my shoes. A sandpiper glided by.

"That’s a joy," the child said.
"It’s a what?"
"It’s a joy. My mama says sandpipers come to bring us joy."

The bird went gliding down the beach. "Good-bye joy," I muttered to myself,
"hello pain," and turned to walk on. I was depressed; my life seemed
completely out of balance.

"What’s your name?" She wouldn’t give up.
"Robert," I answered. "I’m Robert Peterson."
"Mine’s Wendy... I’m six."

"Hi, Wendy."
She giggled. "You’re funny," she said.
In spite of my gloom I laughed too and walked on. Her musical giggle followed me.

"Come again, Mr.. P," she called. "We’ll have another happy day."

The days and weeks that followed belong to others: a group of unruly Boy
Scouts, PTA meetings, an ailing mother. The sun was shining one morning as I
took my hands out of the dishwater. "I need a sandpiper," I said to myself,
gathering up my coat.

The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me.The breeze was chilly, but
I strode along, trying to recapture the serenity I needed. I had forgotten
the child and was startled when she appeared.

"Hello, Mr.. P," she said. "Do you want to play?"

"What did you have in mind?" I asked, with a twinge of annoyance.
"I don’t know, you say."
"How about charades?" I asked sarcastically.
The tinkling laughter burst forth again. "I don’t know what that is."
"Then let’s just walk." Looking at her, I noticed the delicate fairness
of her face. "Where do you live?" I asked.
"Over there." She pointed toward a row of summer cottages.

Strange, I thought, in winter. "Where do you go to school?"
"I don’t go to school. Mommy says we’re on vacation."
She chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach, but my mind
was on other things. When I left for home, Wendy said it had been a happy day.
Feeling surprisingly better, I smiled at her and agreed.

Three weeks later, I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic. I was
in no mood to even greet Wendy. I thought I saw her mother on the porch and
felt like demanding she keep her child at home.

"Look, if you don’t mind," I said crossly when Wendy caught up with me,
"I’d rather be alone today."

She seems unusually pale and out of breath. "Why?" she asked.
I turned to her and shouted, "Because my mother died!" and thought, my
Goodness, why was I saying this to a little child?

"Oh," she said quietly, "then this is a bad day."

"Yes," I said, "and yesterday and the day before and-oh, go away!"

"Did it hurt? " she inquired.
"Did what hurt?" I was exasperated with her, with myself.
"When she died?"
"Of course it hurt!!!!" I snapped, misunderstanding, wrapped up in myself.

I strode off.

A month or so after that, when I next went to the beach, she wasn’t there.
Feeling guilty, ashamed and admitting to myself I missed her, I went up to
the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door. A drawn looking young woman
with honey-colored hair opened the door.

"Hello," I said. "I’m Robert Peterson. I missed your little girl today
and wondered where she was."

"Oh yes, Mr.. Peterson, please come in. Wendy spoke of you so much. I’m
afraid I allowed her to bother you. If she was a nuisance, please, accept my
apologies."

"Not at all-she’s a delightful child," I said, suddenly realizing that I
meant it.

"Where is she?"

"Wendy died last week, Mr.. Peterson. She had leukemia. Maybe she didn’t
tell you."

Struck dumb, I groped for a chair. My breath caught.

"She loved this beach; so when she asked to come, we couldn’t say no.
She seemed so much better here and had a lot of what she called happy days.

But the last few weeks, she declined rapidly..." her voice faltered.

"She left something for you ... if only I can find it. Could you wait a
moment while I look?"

I nodded stupidly, my mind racing for something, anything, to say to this
lovely young woman. She handed me a smeared envelope, with MR.. P printed in
bold, childish letters. Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues a yellow
beach, a blue sea, and a brown bird. Underneath was carefully printed:

A SANDPIPER TO BRING YOU JOY.

Tears welled up in my eyes, and a heart that had almost forgotten to love
opened wide. I took Wendy’s mother in my arms.

"I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry," I muttered over and over, and we
wept together.

The precious little picture is framed now and hangs in my study. Six
words - one for each year of her life - that speak to me of harmony, courage,
undemanding love.

A gift from a child with sea-blue eyes and hair the color of sand who
taught me the gift of love.

NOTE:
I hope you have a few Kleenex tissues left in that box. The above is a
true story sent out by Robert Peterson. It serves as a reminder to all of us
that we need to take time to enjoy living and life and each other. "The price of
hating other human beings is loving oneself less." Life is so complicated, the
hustle and bustle of everyday traumas, can make us lose focus about what is truly
important" Remember to Stop & Smell the Roses

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Cuddlybear comes up with more enjoyable things:

MARTHA STEWART'S TIPS FOR REDNECKS


1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT

1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME

1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table... no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE

1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
3. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family)

1 Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be aggressive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM; Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATER ETIQUETTE

1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock, usually, is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2 Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE

1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles; Even if the gun is loaded, and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

============================

Worried about YK2 problems???

Do not throw away your VCR in the year 2000.
Set it on 1972 because the days will be the same.

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Here's another one you all might enjoy. Meta :-)

The Independent Princess

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,
self assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating
ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow
near her castle.

The frog hopped into the princess' lap and said: Elegant Lady, I was once a
handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from
you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle
with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my
children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed
froglegs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to
herself and thought: "I don't think so."

=========

Actual ad in New York Post

FOR SALE BY OWNER
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.45 volumes.Excellent condition.$1,000.00
or best offer.No longer needed. Got married last weekend.Wife knows everything

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This Quote is brought to you in crypt or cryptoquote. If you know how, it is a simple one. Crypts is where one letter stands for another one. Like to give it try. Answer will be in the next newsletter. For those who need a helping hand: G is the letter C.

D B Q B M U U P Q J D U Q A U I Q J Q Q K D A H Q D B A J Q E B A B M N Q Z A

U M F D P G R I M F F Q M J A Z W A F H Q P Z Y B M U U O Q S G Q U D D B M D

D B Q O M F Q - E. F. P Z Y Q

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My husband received this one. Thought ya'll might like it.

Comprehending Engineers --Take One

One morning, a pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting for a
particularly slow group of golfers.
The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been
waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"
The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word
with him."
[dramatic pause] "Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us?
They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime."
The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for
them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist
buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?

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